There’s a common misunderstanding about peace. Many of us are taught that being “at peace” means staying quiet, swallowing our feelings, and letting things slide. But peace doesn’t mean tolerating disrespect, belittlement, or abuse.

When people mistreat you, it’s natural to feel angry. It’s natural to protest, to push back, to resist. That response doesn’t make you less spiritual, less kind, or less “peaceful.” In fact, it’s often the opposite: the act of drawing a boundary is how you restore peace—inside yourself and within your relationships.

A boundary is a message. It says: this is not acceptable. It gives the other person a chance to awaken to their own behavior, to recognize that crossing this line may cost them connection.

For much of my life, I didn’t know how to do this. I thought to maintain harmony I had to stay silent.

I became the one who kept peace at any cost. Speaking up felt impossible because I was afraid of loosing connection. I often didn’t even know what I wanted to say. Confusion would paralyze me, and that paralysis showed up as silence—words stalled inside me, questions unasked, needs unexpressed.

But something has been changing. Slowly, I’ve begun to take risks with my voice. Recently, in a group I was leading, I faced this exact challenge. At first, I told myself: just be patient, just be compassionate, it will pass. I listened. I appeased. I “played along”. But the longer I did this, the worse it became. When I went home that day, I told myself to let it go. Yet some part of me knew I wasn’t at peace. I had suppressed my anger and my words if dismay.

The truth was clear: it wasn’t personal—but it also wasn’t acceptable.

At the next group meeting, I spoke up. I set a firm boundary. And something shifted inside me. I felt my confidence return. I felt solid. I felt reconnected to my power.

Finding your voice and using it is an act of reclaiming your inner peace.

When your peace is disturbed, it’s an invitation to get curious. In some cases, a part of you will need healing and in some cases, you need to speak up. That’s how peace can become real within you and it is no longer a trauma response of people pleasing or fawning.

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Now a question for you: Where in your life has silence kept the peace on the outside, but cost you peace on the inside?

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Be well.

Warmly,

Gayane Kulikyan