I used to be terrible at asking for support.

Not only did I struggle to reach out, I often didn’t even know when I needed help. I thought I just needed to figure things out on my own.

Growing up as an immigrant shaped that part of me. I learned to be self-reliant early. I could feel how much my parents were already carrying and how overwhelmed they felt in a new country. I didn’t want to add to their burden. So I became capable. Independent. Strong.

And somewhere along the way, I stopped receiving.

What is your relationship to asking for support?

When you imagine reaching out, what arises?
Shame?
Embarrassment?
A feeling of being “too much”?
Or maybe a quiet belief that you should be able to handle it on your own?

Many of us unconsciously become “the strong one.”
The dependable one.
The giver.

When that identity forms early, we can become very comfortable at offering care while unconsciously closing ourselves to receiving it.

Ideally, as children, we primarily receive: love, attention, reassurance, protection. Over time, we grow into adults capable of both giving and receiving in balance.

But if the inner child learned that love had to be earned through being capable…
If being low-maintenance felt safer…
Then giving can become a survival strategy.

And survival strategies, while brilliant, are not the same as freedom.

When we over-identify as the giver, resentment builds. Exhaustion creeps in. We find ourselves holding everything together, again and again, wondering why no one shows up for us the way we show up for them.

But the truth is:
If we don’t let ourselves be supported, others don’t get the chance.

Asking for support is not weakness.​
It is push back against the belief that you must carry everything alone.
It is a decision to soften.
To trust.

And that can feel terrifying.

Because receiving requires vulnerability.
It asks us to release control.
To admit we are human.

But it also opens the door to intimacy, connection, and reciprocity.

Right now, I am practicing receiving in real time.

As I grow my coaching and healing practice, I’m allowing myself to be supported. I’m saying yes to collaborations. I’m opening to invitations. I’m letting others see my work.

And I’m also learning to receive in quieter ways, to let myself be helped when I don’t have it all together. When I feel overwhelmed. To admit when I feel uncertain. To soften the part of me that still believes I must earn support through competence and exellence.

This is new territory.
And it’s healing something old.

So I’ll leave you with a few questions:

• Did you have to be the strong one in your family?
• Did you feel like you had to hold yourself together?
• What happens in your body when you imagine asking for help?
• On a scale from 1–10, how supported do you actually feel in your life right now?
• What would it look like to increase that number by just one point?

Support is not something you earn.

It is something you deserve simply because you exist.

Through my coaching and healing practice, I support people in releasing survival-based identities and building lives rooted in fulfillment, clarity, and self-trust.

If you feel ready to explore that, you can learn more about working together here: https://www.gayanekulikyan.com/services​

Be well.

With love,

Gayane Kulikyan